AstronomyKate1 / Burlington
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Gender: Female

Age: 35

Location: Burlington, Vermont, US

It's 2019, and there's a daily battle for our attention. This battle presents a unique dilemma when tasked with finding someone as specific and special as a donor or co-parent!

In the interests of your time and ours, which we care about equally, we've created bullet points to help you decide whether or not we'd be a good match for you.

Once you've read them, if you're still interested (or very interested!), please feel free to tell us about yourself.

We feel it's best to start with the diversity of situations we can imagine as being wonderful for children and adults alike.

Situations we are open to:

* No contact, or limited contact.

* Providing reasonable compensation to the right donor (are you a PhD student or talented artist who needs help? We're open to that. We want to make a positive difference in your life, too. Talented visual artists - or if you have a recent ancestor who was one - and folks making the world a better place, we'd love to hear from you!)

* Co-parenting with a compatible solo donor.

* Co-parenting with a compatible couple of any orientation or identification.

* Natural insemination with the right donor - we respect that IVF or AI may feel too distant for some. We care about meaningful connection. However, because of the issue of time and the medical fact that humans are generally bad at conceiving, we would want to utilize IVF or AI in addition to NI, should NI be emotionally or spiritually important to the right donor. We fully expect the right donor would be supportive of female reproductive health.

By now, you're probably wondering what makes us so darn special :P About us:

* I (Kate) would be the one conceiving and carrying. I'm a 35 year old American and Irish citizen, of Irish descent. I'm very healthy. I have been thoroughly genetically tested, and I would be happy to share the excellent results with a serious match.

* No family history of Alzheimer's, Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar Disorder, or comparable mental health diagnoses. No concerning genetic markers for any type of cancer. Tay-Sachs clear. The only genetic predisposition of concern was for adult-onset diabetes. I do not have diabetes; I'm thin, my weight is easy to maintain, and I'm active. As you can see from the picture, I do wear glasses! I have stable near-sightedness (-1.3 in each eye). I did not need braces, and I do not have asthma or any allergies (it's ok to hate me).

* Because of artistic talent (it has run in the family for four generations, on the maternal line) I did not need to pursue a Master's, but I have a Bachelor's Degree. (I'm happy to show you my work and let you be the judge! :) ).

* If you’re worried about academic/intellectual acuity, my first cousins graduated from Ivy League schools, my aunt and uncle are a retired medical doctor and lawyer respectively, and my family runs a major publishing company in a European country.

* In case you need more background on family history: My parents are both non-starving artists, a professional writer and a painter. My grandparents were a Cambridge professor, an inventor of a phonics system used in mainland Europe and parts of Asia today, and two professional actors (black and white film of course).

* My personality has been described as empathic. Honesty and compassion are my two most important values. I fall somewhere between extroversion and introversion. I adore animals. I read about astronomy for fun; understanding our place on the cosmic stage fascinates and awes me. I will always wish Carl Sagan could be alive today - we need him badly! I care tremendously about a just world for all peoples, and a respectful, regenerative one for all species.

* I identify as a secular humanist, and would seek to raise my child(ren) in an environment filled with love, enlightenment values, and appreciation for the natural world.

* My partner (also a woman) and I are both educated professionals and loving secular humanists. My partner is a computer programmer (…and is hilariously funny. She probably should have written this whole thing instead). Her background is in organic farming and wilderness-based public service.

* As already stated above, we would welcome the right co-parenting situation. It’s also ok if you want limited or no contact.

* We're actively planning an environmentally regenerative homestead in Northern Vermont.

* We're politically liberal/left (I'm sure you already inferred this! :) )

Why we didn't opt for a sperm bank:

* While we have friends who have had a positive experience so far, we're concerned that sperm banks are not yet regulated and thus are free to advertise without accountability.

Our ideal donor, whether or not you'd like to co-parent:

* Open to non-invasive, basic genetic screening and an STD panel. We won't ask anything of you we're not willing to give ourselves. It's not about judging you, or making you uncomfortable - such precautions are only about the well-being of a child.

* No family history of clinical narcissism, sociopathy, Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar Disorder, or comparable mental health diagnoses of a devastating nature.

* Demonstrably kind, honest, intelligent.

* It's important you like animals - we believe this is indicative of a capacity for empathy and an ability to appreciate other perspectives.

* It's important you care about the fate of our biosphere - we believe this speaks for itself.

* Ethnicity is not important.

* Talented artists will be swooned over. Sorry not sorry! If not an artist, PhD students, environmental activists, or other trajectories of a similar nature are highly valued. It's impressive (and important) to us you're doing all you can to make the world a better place.

If you'd like to co-parent:

* We understand the right donor may not be able to contribute financially. We're far more interested in who you are than how much money you have.

* Education: Montessori or comparable experience, 0-18 years.

* Health: Vaccinations are non-negotiable, as are regular check-ups. We both practice insight meditation (no belief system is attached to this practice) for its benefits and we would offer our child(ren) the opportunity to learn this practice. If they didn't like it or want to pursue it for themselves, that would be their choice :)

* Diet: Balanced, organic.

* Religion & Spirituality: We believe ultimately this will be the child's choice! In regard to their upbringing, we trust in the benefits of secular humanism. We'd also be happy for our child(ren) to embrace any beneficial cultural and community practices that are of a religious nature, such as Bar & Bat Mitzvahs, etc, should that be important to their co-parent (and of course, provided the child genuinely wants to participate in them). We would draw the line at absolute indoctrination or literal interpretations of religious texts.

* Discipline: We believe the only acceptable form of discipline is calm, non-punitive guidance and sensible limitation, based on the child's choices. No corporal punishment, no put-downs, no lashing out. Ever. Reactive punishment does not teach a child anything other than to be afraid and to use fear or bad behavior to achieve their goals. Discipline, on the other hand, teaches a child to make objectively good choices for themselves, learn self-advocacy, and recognize what is in their and others' best interest. **We believe you cannot expect a child to master their emotions and behavior if you haven't mastered yours.**

* Physical activity: We believe the benefits of the outdoors - childhood scrapes included - are impossible to overstate. Other than that, we're sure the child will tell us what they want to try!

* Creative development: We believe it's our duty to support their curiosity.

* Our shared manual on parenting would be: How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & How To Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

* Screens: We believe firmly in screen-free childhoods. All research points to screens being devastating for cognitive and emotional development. If the tech giants who made these devices are enforcing screen-free childhoods with their own kids, we think that says it all. Screens and technology can be integrated as they get older, with an emphasis on using them for a purpose and enjoying their benefits as a communal activity.

* Whatever polished form the co-parenting agreement takes, you are dependable, reliable and consistent in whatever it is you've chosen to agree to. You communicate your desires and needs clearly, with empathy and respect, and listen to the desires and needs of others in the same way. We believe healthy boundaries and good communication lead to a genuine sense of camaraderie which deepens over time. Nothing less would be worthy of a life-long commitment, for everyone involved.

Well, you've made it to the end of this epic bullet list. If we're not right for you, then this will be the only time you waste on us! :) If we are right for you, then we look forward to getting to know you better. Other than the arrival of our child(ren), meeting you will be one of the most important events of our lifetime.

Interested In

  • IVF
  • Sperm Donation (recipient)
  • Co-Parenting (female)
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