IVF mother at 57 admits too old
Susan Tollefsen became a mother after receiving IVF treatment at 57 from a Russian clinic in 2008, where she conceived daughter Freya.Criticism
Many criticised her decision, saying she was too old to become a parent. At the time, Mrs Tollefsen defended her choice and pointed out that her partner Nick Mayer was 11 years her junior – and would therefore be around to care for their daughter Freya during all of her childhood.
Couple split
However, she says they have now split and concedes her critics were right as she encounters the difficulties of bringing up a three-year-old child alone at the age of 61.
IVF age limit
Mrs Tollefsen, states that, with hindsight, there should be an age limit of 50 for IVF treatment for women.
"Freya is without doubt the best thing I have ever done in my life, and I have no regrets. But with the benefit of hindsight I recognise that perhaps some of my critics were right. "I get a great emotional feeling when I look at her and a sadness when I realise time’s running out. If I could change just one thing I would wish to be younger so I could enjoy watching Freya grow up, get married and have children of her own. "I’m doing my best to raise her to be completely independent but the prospect of her being taken from me, if I die, particularly when she’s still young, breaks my heart."
UK government IVF guidelines
Government guidelines recommend doctors do not offer IVF to women over 40 on the NHS, and private clinics will generally refuse to treat women older than 50.
Scrap IVF age limit
The health watchdog NICE is considering whether to scrap the age limit in favour of treating women based on tests which estimate how many eggs they have left.
Parenting pressures
Like so many parents with young children, the pressures and responsibility began to pull the couple apart. "I felt as if he didn’t want his life to change at all after Freya came along, even though mine had changed completely. "I realise that we didn’t communicate well. That wasn’t a problem when we only had ourselves to consider, but it became an ever-widening gap after Freya was born."
Wisdom
"One advantage of being my age is the wisdom you gain from experience and I intend to make the most of every second I get to share with my daughter – I never want it to end." She also confesses how tiring is it at times to cope, after separating from her partner and moving out of their home in Laindon, Essex, to live nearby. She brings up Freya on her own, on a tight income that includes her pension, while her daughter sees her father every fortnight, staying with him for a weekend. "I never imagined it would work out this way,’ Mrs Tollefsen said. "I’ve never regretted having Freya but I’ve had to pay a heavy price for my dream of being a mother. In fact, it’s cost me my relationship. You think you’re madly in love with someone and you just don’t realise what they’re going to be like after you’ve had children."
Read more at: telegraph.co.uk